A caterpillar's dream to fly

This is not a mommy blog...[not that there's anything wrong with that!]...but my plan and hope is to write about many aspects of my life.

BUT, I love being a mom. I have a 7-year old son and damn if he is not the cutest thing EVER to me. Yes, of course he drives me up a wall every now and then, but truly, for the most part - I adore him. He is what is fondly and admonishingly referred to in my extended family as a "Super Son".

This nickname was originally coined in reference to my grandmother's treatment of my uncle (my mother's younger brother and the middle child). He could do no wrong and was always catered to upon entering my grandmother's house. And while we laughed about it - even with my grandmother and my uncle - it was entirely true. It was only after having a son of my own that I now understand the phenomenon. I have only one child as well, so really, he is "Super-Duper Son".

And this somewhat relates to a kind of intersection of conversations, if you will, that I have had recently. All having to do with the question of how much we should or should not: gloss over issues for, protect, run interference for, lie to, okay you get the point now...our children.

It is sometimes, if not most of the time, a fine line. But I believe that we do have a responsibility to our children to both prepare them and protect them. As parents, we are constantly evaluating what our kids can handle on their own, perhaps pushing them slightly to learn to cope with life's inevitable difficulties and when it is better, whether from their own preference or ours, to keep our hand on their shoulder.

I hope that I ultimately make good choices in my parenting - at least most of the time. I know that I have not always and will not always get it right. Because while he is my beautiful, sweet super son? I still want him to grow up to be a great big beautiful butterfly. To be his own person, capable of anything and everything he can dream of. And confident to make the decisions regarding his own life.

And in the process, I find I am breaking out of my own cocoon. In parenting our kids, we get the chance to re-parent ourselves. It kind of feels like throwing out the crap cards you were dealt, keeping the good and taking the new ones. Only this time...I get to be the dealer.

I hope we're giving him a good hand to start out with in life. I hope we are giving him everything he needs so that when the struggle comes along, hard as it may be, he'll be able to get through it and more importanly maybe, is knowing that you can and will get through it.

Here is the story that was passed on to me:

A man spent hours watching a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. It managed to make a small hole, but its body was too large to get through it. After a long struggle, it appeared to be exhausted and remained absolutely still. The man decided to help the butterfly and, with a pair of scissors, he cut open the cocoon, thus releasing the butterfly. However, the butterfly’s body was very small and wrinkled and its wings were all crumpled. The man continued to watch, hoping that, at any moment, the butterfly would open its wings and fly away. Nothing happened; in fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its brief life dragging around its shrunken body and shrivelled wings, incapable of flight. What the man - out of kindness and his eagerness to help - had failed to understand was that the tight cocoon and the efforts that the butterfly had to make in order to squeeze out of that tiny hole were Nature’s way of training the butterfly and of strengthening its wings. Sometimes, a little extra effort is precisely what prepares us for the next obstacle to be faced. Anyone who refuses to make that effort, or gets the wrong sort of help, is left unprepared to fight the next battle and never manages to fly off to their destiny.
(Adapted from a story by Sonaira D’Avila)